Mindset Shifts for Resilience

Hello beautiful

t's a bit of a buzz word at the moment - RESILIENCE.

Here's my definition :

The unshakable inner strength that empowers you to rise above challenges, adapt to change, and transform adversity into growth. It’s the ability to bend without breaking, to navigate life’s storms with grace and courage, and to emerge stronger, wiser, and more radiant each time. Resilience is the alchemy of turning setbacks into stepping stones, forging a path of empowerment and self-discovery. Resilience is the true essence of Fabulosity.

What does Resilience mean for you ?

Much love & sparkles

Jai

"My mindset is my superpower in times of challenge or change."

"Change is inevitable. Growth is optional."

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it."

—

Maya Angelou

"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become."

—

Carl Jung

"Your failures do not define you but your resilience does."

—

Unknown

"Resilience is knowing that you are the only one who has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up."

—

Mary Holloway

Cognitive Reframing Techniques (sounds fancy, but it is easier than you think)

Life can throw unexpected curveballs that test our strength. The power of resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about reframing how we see the situation. What we want to avoid is stepping into the victim. We own our own reactions to things.

Here's a simple story of how one of my clients, Emma, used a cognitive reframing technique to flip her mindset and build resilience.

Feel the Feels & Ask yourself "why do I feel this way?"
Emma was feeling frustrated and defeated after not getting a promotion she had worked so hard for. She kept thinking,
“I’m just not good enough. I must have done something wrong.”
This self-blame was weighing her down and impacting her confidence. When we paused to explore her feelings, she realized her disappointment stemmed from tying her worth to external achievements.

Reflect & Reframe It
Instead of staying stuck in that negative mindset, Emma practiced cognitive reframing. She asked herself, “What’s another way I can look at this situation?” She reflected on the fact that she had shown incredible dedication and growth in her role, even if the promotion didn’t come through this time.
Together, we reframed her thinking: “This isn’t a failure; it’s a stepping stone. I gained valuable experience, and there’s another opportunity waiting for me.” Emma saw that not getting the promotion wasn’t a reflection of her abilities, but rather an invitation to grow and look for new paths.

Speak the new narrative into being
Emma’s new narrative became:
“I am resilient, and every setback is a setup for growth. I trust that what’s meant for me is on its way.”
By repeating this to herself, she found the energy to take new actions—like seeking feedback from her supervisor and exploring other growth opportunities within the company. She began to see the situation as a chance to become even stronger and wiser.
And guess what, a few months later - there was a better new job for her, better pay, better team and she was ready for it!

When life feels like it’s knocking you down, pause and ask,

“What’s another way I can view this?”

Reflect on the growth or lesson that might be hidden within the challenge, and speak a new, empowering narrative into being. Remember, resilience is about seeing every setback as an opportunity to rise.

“I embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. I am strong, resilient, and ready for all that life has to offer.”

Practice the Reframe.

Everything worthwhile requires a little practice. Here's a couple of little scenarios to have a go.

Your child comes home feeling upset because they weren’t picked for the school play. They say, “I’m just not good enough. No one ever chooses me.”

Challenge Practice:
Instead of dismissing their feelings, you pause and ask them,
“Why do you feel this way?”
Allow them to express their disappointment fully. Then, guide them to reflect:
“What’s another way we can look at this situation?”
Encourage them to see it as an opportunity to practice and build skills for next time, or as a chance to explore a new activity they might enjoy.

You might say:
“I know it’s hard, and it’s okay to feel sad. But maybe this is a chance to try something new or work on your acting skills so you’re ready for the next opportunity. Sometimes, what feels like a setback is actually a setup for something even better.” Encourage them, if appropriate, to find other times in their life where they were picked.

Reframe:
Help them come up with an empowering statement too.
“I am not defined by one experience, I have so much potential. I will look for ways to show my talents. Every ‘no’ inspires me.”

You and your partner have been arguing frequently about household responsibilities, and you start to think, “We’ll never get on the same page. Why do I have to do everything?”

Challenge Practice:
Pause and ask,
“What’s another way to see this situation?”
Reframe it as a chance to strengthen communication and work together as a team. You could think,
“This is an opportunity for us to sit down and create a plan that works for both of us, bringing us close again.” Discuss it with them. Perhaps you could ask if this is the real problem - allowing you an opening for a deeper connection with each other.

You prepared a presentation for work, and it didn’t go as planned. Your boss gives you feedback that feels critical, and you begin thinking, “I’m not good at this. I’m not cut out for this role.”

Challenge Practice:
Before letting negative thoughts spiral, ask yourself,
“How can I view this differently?”
Consider the feedback as constructive and an opportunity for growth. Reframe it as,
“This feedback is a valuable tool that will help me refine my skills and improve for the next opportunity.” Set yourself some new goals, and go get them!

By practicing these reframing examples in various areas of life—whether with family, career, or partner relationships—you develop the skill of shifting perspectives. This builds resilience and empowers you to approach challenges with a mindset of growth and possibility, turning obstacles into opportunities for transformation.

Take a moment ...

Reflection Exercise: The Strength in Defeat

Take a few quiet moments to think back to a time when you felt defeated or disappointed. It could be a situation where things didn’t go as planned, or when you felt you weren’t enough.

Pause and Reflect:

What emotions did you feel at that time? How did you react?
Now, consider where you are today. How have you grown since then? What strengths or lessons did you gain from that experience?

Reframe the Experience:

Write down one way that setback actually led you to become stronger, wiser, or more resilient.
Remind yourself:
“Even in moments of defeat, I gained strength and valuable lessons that have shaped who I am today.”

Affirm Your Resilience:

Close your reflection by affirming:
“I am stronger than any setback. I am resilient, and I rise with every challenge.”

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